Since moving to the city, I've had trouble balancing my roots and my new branches. It's so hard in a big world by yourself. Everyone is trying to shape your thinking and values into what they believe is right. The thing is, my values had already been shaped.
I came to college not knowing what to expect. I found things up here to be so different than back home, and eventually the mentality of "up here" became the only mentality I had. I started to hate my roots and I started to reject my old values. I described it as "being open-minded", but it wasn't. I was really just being closed minded to my past, my family, my hometown and my faith.
In the midst of questioning my old values and seeking what would now be "MY values", I once asked a friend, "Do you think it would just be better if I would have remained naive to any other values besides what I grew up in?" I remember that I was incredibly happy when I didn't fully understand racisim, hatred, poverty, other religious views, and stereotypes. I remember I could just affiliate myself with "Christian, White, middle class, educated, female, heterosexual" and never realize that not everyone fell into those categories.
As I continued to reject my old values, I would find these instances that my heart would just long for "comfort". The times that I found that comfort were when Taylor Swift sang about "growing up in a pretty house and having space to run", or when I would run into an old man who had an incredible resemblence to my Grandpa and smelled of cheap cigar and Old Spice.
It was in those moments that I would be brought back "home" and feel finally at peace.
After many tough conversations, sad experiences and a constant search for who I am and who I want to be, I think I've finally established a foundation that blends the two lives perfectly (at least for now). :)
I still identify as Christian, White, educated, female, and heterosexual, however I've also added social worker, Moderate - Liberal, and Ally (no, not my name, the other "ally").
Open minded now means open minded to past, present, rich, poor, person of color, person of European heritage, persons with disabilities, able-bodied persons, educated, not educated, health care reform and current health care system....etc...
I think many of us make this mistake with the term "open minded", we forget that it means considering the side we tend to favor and the side we tend to despise. It's okay to make up your mind, but at least consider them both.
Now I have the best of both worlds: small town heart and big city education. I'm excited to see what God has planned for the impact of these values on the rest of the world. I've already seen what they've done for me.
I came to college not knowing what to expect. I found things up here to be so different than back home, and eventually the mentality of "up here" became the only mentality I had. I started to hate my roots and I started to reject my old values. I described it as "being open-minded", but it wasn't. I was really just being closed minded to my past, my family, my hometown and my faith.
In the midst of questioning my old values and seeking what would now be "MY values", I once asked a friend, "Do you think it would just be better if I would have remained naive to any other values besides what I grew up in?" I remember that I was incredibly happy when I didn't fully understand racisim, hatred, poverty, other religious views, and stereotypes. I remember I could just affiliate myself with "Christian, White, middle class, educated, female, heterosexual" and never realize that not everyone fell into those categories.
As I continued to reject my old values, I would find these instances that my heart would just long for "comfort". The times that I found that comfort were when Taylor Swift sang about "growing up in a pretty house and having space to run", or when I would run into an old man who had an incredible resemblence to my Grandpa and smelled of cheap cigar and Old Spice.
It was in those moments that I would be brought back "home" and feel finally at peace.
After many tough conversations, sad experiences and a constant search for who I am and who I want to be, I think I've finally established a foundation that blends the two lives perfectly (at least for now). :)
I still identify as Christian, White, educated, female, and heterosexual, however I've also added social worker, Moderate - Liberal, and Ally (no, not my name, the other "ally").
Open minded now means open minded to past, present, rich, poor, person of color, person of European heritage, persons with disabilities, able-bodied persons, educated, not educated, health care reform and current health care system....etc...
I think many of us make this mistake with the term "open minded", we forget that it means considering the side we tend to favor and the side we tend to despise. It's okay to make up your mind, but at least consider them both.
Now I have the best of both worlds: small town heart and big city education. I'm excited to see what God has planned for the impact of these values on the rest of the world. I've already seen what they've done for me.
